Monday, July 2, 2007

Perfunctory indisposition.

I am not a fan of being sick. You might think I was, seeing as how I pass so much of my time that way. But I truly do not enjoy it. The problem that I find most annoying about continual sickness is that I cannot see the point.

In emotional trials, I can often find solace because I know that God is growing me and helping me learn to be a better, kinder, more loving, more understanding person. Very rarely has physical sickness helped me learn a lesson like that. Most of the time, it just annoys me and prevents me from acting out love in ways that I wish to because I don't feel well.

However, I am sure this means that I am missing the point entirely. Who am I to question the ways of an infinite, holy, omnipotent, omnipresent God who created me and therefore knows more about me (and simultaneously about everyone else on the planet) than I could ever hope to know? Even if I don't know the point, there is one. In that I have full confidence.

I wish I could be more like Mother Teresa, who saw every opportunity to suffer as a way to join with her beloved Christ in his sufferings. I wish I remembered to offer up every ache, pain, or sickness as an offering of praise. Right now I feel like if my head didn't hurt so much, I might remember to do so.

Lord, help me not to miss the point. Let me find joy in you because of ~ not in spit of ~ these tiny inconveniences that cannot even be called trials next to what people in this world face daily.

No comments: