Tonight I went to see Jeremy Camp. I have to say that I was a little daunted at first by the hoards of high-school kids clad from head to toe in Jesus paraphenalia. Places that seem so counter cultural make me a little uneasy, but anyway, that is another topic for another time.
I wasn't really sure if I liked Jeremy before tonight. I had only heard his first album, which definitely had a bit of a rock edge to it. But it seemed he had gone a little more CCM since then. Don't get mad. I'm not saying CCM is bad. Just refer to the earlier statement about counter cultural situations.
I have to say that first of all, he has a beautiful voice. And he can do the head flippy voice thing. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm really sorry because it is (cover the eyes of your small children here) the sexiest thing in the world. But second of all, he has a beautiful heart. I feel convicted now for writing the sexy comment.
For those of you who do not know, he lost his very young wife to cancer several years ago. Talk about a man who knows what it means to be broken. He spoke a lot tonight about brokenness, and how that state of complete helplessness and dependence opens us up to be used by God. It was really beautiful to hear him say that. As painful as life can be, it is the pain that brings us to a place where we can be honest with God and say, "I have nothing. It's all you." As John Piper says, "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him."
Jeremy played a new song tonight that he wasn't even supposed to play. The lyrics are simple, but I found a depth in them that spoke to my spirit in a way that I cannot put into words. I pulled out my journal and scribbled down the chorus.
I know that I've been given more than beyond measure
I come alive when I see beyond my fears
I know that I've been given more than earthly pleasures
I come alive when I'm broken down and giving you control
Here's to hoping that God breaks us all down, empties us of ourselves, and fills us with a yearning to see beyond the fears and things of this world into the beauty that awaits a life given away.