Thursday, February 23, 2012

Gold stars.

Today's confession is brought to you by an experience in class today.

I feel a war between fear, shame, and giddy pride when a teacher praises my work. I flash back to a time when being teacher's pet was both the only way I knew how to get attention and when it cost me the opportunity to have friendships. I fear being wrong, and I feel embarrassed when I'm right. I almost always feel regret after I speak up or raise my hand, regardless of the outcome. I try to drink in the praise but end up choking on the fear of it.

I'm thankful for friends in my life now who love me, embrace me and my nerdiness, and don't mind when I'm that obnoxious person in class. You beautiful souls are teaching me to know who I am and who I am not. Your love gives me courage and coaxes me out of shame.

No comments: