Today, I was not okay. It doesn't really matter why I wasn't, and I don't say this to get sympathy or for people to ask, "What's wrong?" I have dear friends who took care of me and who loved me well, as they always do. The point is to admit where I really am and not pretend to be something else.
I felt selfish and foolish letting tears stream down my face in public. I stared out the window for hours when I was supposed to be doing homework. And it was good. It was right for me to do those things. Because to not do them would have been false. It would have been stuffing emotions that needed to rise up. Today, I needed to not be okay. And for perhaps the first time, I was okay with that. Tomorrow, I think I'll be okay. And I think I'll really mean it.