The best news EVER.

I know, I know... two days in a row for blogging is a bit much. But I have some INCREDIBLY exciting news.

Not only have I never seen a live NFL game, but I don't even get to watch the Giants on TV because they never show their games on the stations here. I don't get cable, so I even missed the MNF game last night.

But, I just wanted to share the most amazing thing that happened today in staff meeting.

I was going over the calendar (which I keep up with for the whole church), and I see that on November 26th, someone has written me as "out." Very odd, since I am the only person who keeps up with the calendar.

I said, "Who wrote this? I'm not going to be out that day."

Mike says, "Yes, you are. It's on the online calendar, too."

I look, and there it is. Plain as day. It says, "Rachel out for the Giants/Titans game in Nashville!!!!!!"

The staff chipped in and bought me two tickets to watch the Giants play when they come to Nashville! I get to see them in real life!!!! They even gave me money for gas to get there and back. I cannot believe it. I am so elated. I work with the world's greatest, nicest, most amazing people! There is absolutely no reason for them to have done something so huge and so kind for me, and yet, they did!!!

The Giants won last night, the performances of Eli, Amani, and Gibril (my team captain) got the win for me in my fantasy league, and now I get to see them play LIVE!!!!

And, I have two tickets...

I need a boyfriend... or a pit bull.

I was looking online for the phone number of my apartment complex, and up popped all these articles on Johnia Berry, the girl who was brutally murdered there almost two years ago (things they don't tell you before you sign your lease).
I knew that it had happened, but didn't know any details. Reading this article was very scary! The most disturbing things about it are the following:
~ The people in the other apartments in the building (there are six apartments in each building) all reported hearing her screaming and knocking on their doors, pleading for help as she was literally dying in the hallway. They could see the blood, hear her screams. No one opened their doors or called the police. No one.
~ She was a girl that reportedly "had no enemies" and was the type of person that could make a bad day good. I always assumed that it was some sort of shady situation with a drug deal gone bad or something like that. Apparently, she was as innocent as they come.
~ The apartment complex distributed flyers saying that it was all a result of domestic violence, and refused to retract the statement even once they knew otherwise.

I suddenly feel very unsafe. I really want to meet my new neighbors and become friends with them, so that if I get stabbed (which is always the way that I die in nightmares, by the way, and thus one of my biggest fears), they will call the police. I miss the boys that used to live downstairs!!! They were so sweet, and I felt so safe with them down there. They would definitely have called the police if I was dying. I'm sure of it.

My messy, messy house.

Have you ever heard someone say that the inside of your house (or room, or car... any space you occupy as your own would probably do) directly reflects the inside of your mind? If not, some people say that the inside of your house directly reflects the inside of your mind. Now you have heard it. And I have been realizing lately just how true this is in my life.
My apartment was immaculate when I first moved in, and remained that way from the time I got unpacked until Jason and I broke up. Then things started going downhill. At first, it was just a jacket and a few extra pairs of shoes by the door. A plate, cup, and fork would rest rinsed in the sink, but not make it to the dishwasher.
As my stress level became higher and higher, my apartment reflected the mess in my head. A jacket turned into a week's worth of clothes on the bathroom floor. An extra pair of shoes evolved into every pair of shoes. A plate, cup, and fork morphed into a pile of dishes that surpassed the walls of the sink and slid crashing to the floor anytime you added another one (or a clumsy cat jumped on the counter).
While I was trying desperately to hold onto control of the situations I was in, my house reflected that barely contained chaos. When I lost control, the whirlwind in my head tore through every room. When I relenquished control to God, the mess began to slowly contain itself in strategically placed corners and closets. Tonight, I clean. And I am excited about the peace of mind that awaits.

Grocery Shopping.

Have you ever had a moment when, all of a sudden, you realize that something you've been doing your entire life is really, truly strange? I had one of these moments yesterday, when I realized that I talk to myself out loud in the grocery store.
It's true! I realized yesterday as I was buying taco supplies for my small group that I was speaking at an audible volume, looking for tomatoes. Not loud enough to disturb the other shoppers, mind you, but loud enough that if someone didn't want to go through the mental process of finding the best value on any given product, they could just stand next to me and copy my answer after I've figured it out. It went something like this. "Okay, now I need tomatoes. Lettuce, cucumber, zucchini, squash... there they are. Tomatoes. Oh. These are organic. Probably better, but more expensive. Hm... where are the other tomatoes? These look good. Is this the best price? Yep. Okay, one tomato. Is that it? No, I still need cheese."
The horrible thing is that I think I have always done this, and I'm not sure that I can stop. Will you still be my friend if I talk to myself in the grocery store?

I went somewhere on a Friday night! Aren't you proud of me?

Tonight I went to see Jeremy Camp. I have to say that I was a little daunted at first by the hoards of high-school kids clad from head to toe in Jesus paraphenalia. Places that seem so counter cultural make me a little uneasy, but anyway, that is another topic for another time.
I wasn't really sure if I liked Jeremy before tonight. I had only heard his first album, which definitely had a bit of a rock edge to it. But it seemed he had gone a little more CCM since then. Don't get mad. I'm not saying CCM is bad. Just refer to the earlier statement about counter cultural situations.
I have to say that first of all, he has a beautiful voice. And he can do the head flippy voice thing. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm really sorry because it is (cover the eyes of your small children here) the sexiest thing in the world. But second of all, he has a beautiful heart. I feel convicted now for writing the sexy comment.
For those of you who do not know, he lost his very young wife to cancer several years ago. Talk about a man who knows what it means to be broken. He spoke a lot tonight about brokenness, and how that state of complete helplessness and dependence opens us up to be used by God. It was really beautiful to hear him say that. As painful as life can be, it is the pain that brings us to a place where we can be honest with God and say, "I have nothing. It's all you." As John Piper says, "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him."
Jeremy played a new song tonight that he wasn't even supposed to play. The lyrics are simple, but I found a depth in them that spoke to my spirit in a way that I cannot put into words. I pulled out my journal and scribbled down the chorus.

I know that I've been given more than beyond measure
I come alive when I see beyond my fears
I know that I've been given more than earthly pleasures
I come alive when I'm broken down and giving you control

Here's to hoping that God breaks us all down, empties us of ourselves, and fills us with a yearning to see beyond the fears and things of this world into the beauty that awaits a life given away.

The rich and famous and miserable.

It's so easy to forget that people who are rich and famous are very rarely happy. I'm sure most of you have heard at this point that Terrell Owens (wide receiver for Dallas Cowboys) was hospitalized last night after taking 35 prescription pain killers in a suicide attempt. What misery must consume his mind and his heart. Say a prayer for him. They haven't even released information yet about whether or not he will be okay.

I hope that this will serve as a reminder to me that I should never judge people. I was one of the biggest proponents of kicking T.O. out of Philly because he was a jerk. I just forgot that jerks are jerks for a reason - they're miserable. God save him. And help me not to be so judgmental. Who am I to speak into the lives of people that I know nothing about? I am no better than anyone else (1 Peter 5:5-6, Philippians 2:3, Ephesians 2:8-9, Galatians 6:14). I never thought that I would have something in common with Terrell Owens, but I understand how he feels right now. I wish I could tell him "the reason for the hope that [I] have" (1 Peter 3:15-16).

The death of one of my all time best friends.

Well, everyone, I have some very sad news. Many of you know and love Cookie, our little miniature schnauzer. This morning, she passed away after about a week and a half of severe, sudden illness. This dog was truly special. She would play hide and seek with children for hours when we got tired of entertaining them. She did about 40 tricks including things like sneeze, smile, pray, dance, wave goodbye, and whisper. She played Duck Duck Goose (although she did tend to cheat a bit). I would do anything to see her do all of those one last time. Cookie could always tell when a person was sad and would work relentlessly to comfort them, bringing toys and cuddling close. Even people who thought they didn't like dogs were eventually won over by her gentleness and charm. She was the world's perfect dog, and she will be desperately missed.